Our lives are in a heavy state of transition. We are just a couple of weeks into the new year, but a couple of weeks can bring a lot of changes. My husband entered this year in a temporary state of unemployment, and while we’re handling it well so far, it has brought little changes to some of our usual habits and my financial mindset. It has also brought a bright new hope into our lives as we strive to start a new church in a spiritually poor area. But the heaviest transition we have had to face thus far in 2018 was the loss of an immediate family member. This death was not anticipated or expected in any regards.
On January 5th, Dennis and I headed up to New York to be with his family. We were there for a full week. A full week of being constantly surrounded by extended family members who I still barely know, constant preparation and cleanup, and not doing anything that I normally do. And let me tell you, it was so healing.
This morning as I sat down to do my devotional, I reflected that I had only done devotionals (and very short ones at that) twice while we were away. I also realized that I only did yoga a few times, and always much shorter than my usual practices. I didn’t even set an alarm most days, and actually managed to sleep in for the first time in months. The more and more I thought about it, the only thing that carried over from my regular morning routine was sitting down with my morning cup of coffee. And now that we’ve returned home, with the old To-Do List still sitting in my planner, with meals to plan and prep, lunches to pack, and shopping to do, I find myself letting go of all the “have to’s” I’ve been holding on to. I finally feel like I’ve let go of the control and rigidity that I have allowed to have a hold on me for the past year. And it’s all because of perspective that has come from this period of transition.
Times of transition can bring out the worst in us. They can cause anxiety and uncertainty that lead to various avenues of control masquerading as stability. But times of transition can also serve as great reset points. And in this transition, for the first time in a long time, I’m choosing to let go of control and welcome the unexpected. I am a creature of habit and routine, but I am excited to see what letting go of my self-expectations and “have-to’s” will do.
Que Sera, Sarah 